Who am I?
Have you ever had the feeling that you have absolutely no idea who the hell you are anymore?! Like you're a robot running on autopilot doing all the things that you "should" do. Working the job you "should" work, giving up everything to be the parent you "should" be, doing the things a partner "should" do, looking the way you "should" look for your age, weight, occupation, etc. "shoulding" your whole life away?! Do you ever wake up some days and think, how did I get here? Like this is not the path you have chosen, and that what led you here was not created with intention? I can relate with these feelings. Where am I? Who am I? Is this all there is? What's the point? If you have lost your way and don’t know who you are anymore, read on.
The reason that you feel like you don't know who you are is because, you have, and are, being conditioned all the time. For many of us, forces outside of ourselves are slowly molding us into a version of you and we are not even realizing it. This is done through our upbringing by incepting ideas like, little girls should be "pretty", seen and not heard, help clean up the kitchen while the boys go play/relax, not too loud or bossy, find a good man to take care of you, take care of everyone else and on and on. Well meaning family and friends tell you that your dream career is too risky, or doesn't pay enough and that you should focus on being a lawyer, engineer, doctor, etc. Or that your idea will never work, don't travel there it's too dangerous, you can't speak up to your boss they will fire you. Thus creating a fear and lack of faith in yourself and so you trade your dreams for the "safe" thing, the thing you "should" do. We take advice from the people that have no experience or frame of reference to the topic at hand and assume that our vision must be faulty.
Then you have the media. With thousands of messages being constantly downloaded daily into your subconscious brain like; what it means to be pretty, what sex should be like, how to please your man, the clothes you should be wearing, the things you need to have to be happy, what kind of man you should be with, the career you need and the money you need to earn to be happy. This is a never ending list of things, ideas and promises will never come to pass but somehow stick with us altering how we act in the world and how we perceive ourselves.
Slowly, one idea at a time we are being put in a box stamped with the seal of what a woman/sister/mother/friend/wife/Etc. "should" look like. As a wild horse is taught to exchange its wild ways to do tricks and being taken for a ride so are we. We are being tamed when all the while the gate has been open we have just never known it was an option; that freedom was an option.
If you still have your doubts or can relate to what I am saying than you must watch this next video. I have re-watched this so many times and have even shed some tears because the truth of it is just so heart wrenching, real and raw. Once you have watched this you will never look at your life the same way again, you will in fact want to get to know the real you and to be free. Watch and see how you can start walking through that gate and back to you.
Becoming You Again
So you want a change, you want to become untamed and take back the control over your life and intentionally design your life moving forward. To be who the fuck you decide to be from this moment on? Good. Me too! So what now?
I have recently came across the work of holistic psychiatrist, Nicole Lepera, who has been helping millions of women heal themselves and create who they want to become. Her down to earth lessons on how to reframe your past and essentially reprogram yourself from the events, emotions and people who have conditioned you are creating real breakthroughs for people. Best of all, the advice seems within reach; real, actionable and logical making progress seem not only possible but probable. Watch the whole video, its worth it.
Based on the advice from these fierce women who are most importantly being full themselves here are my top takeaways for the next steps in creating and find you again.