Have you ever had the feeling that you have absolutely no idea who the hell you are anymore?! No idea how you got to where you are or where you are going in life? We dig into how we are conditioned since we are born based on our circumstances, culture, media and well-meaning familial ideals in a way that our subconscious is making decisions that are molding our futures without us necessarily even being aware that it is happening. Want to learn how to free yourself to be yourself, and to find out who she even is? Read on for:
Content related to how you have been conditioned.
Actionable advice, tools & ideas on how to re-program your mindset & create who you want to become.
Key take-aways from the experts on the topic & additional resources for personal growth if you interested in going down the rabbit hole.
Who am I?
Have you ever had the feeling that you have absolutely no idea who the hell you are anymore?! Like you're a robot running on autopilot doing all the things that you "should" do. Working the job you "should" work, giving up everything to be the parent you "should" be, doing the things a partner "should" do, looking the way you "should" look for your age, weight, occupation, etc. "shoulding" your whole life away?! Do you ever wake up some days and think, how did I get here? Like this is not the path you have chosen, and that what led you here was not created with intention? I can relate with these feelings. Where am I? Who am I? Is this all there is? What's the point? If you have lost your way and don’t know who you are anymore, read on.
The reason that you feel like you don't know who you are is because, you have, and are, being conditioned all the time. For many of us, forces outside of ourselves are slowly molding us into a version of "you" without us even realizing it. This is done through our upbringing by incepting ideas like, little girls should be "pretty", seen and not heard, help clean up the kitchen while the boys go play/relax, not too loud or bossy, find a good man to take care of you, take care of everyone else and on and on. Well meaning family and friends tell you that your dream career is too risky, or doesn't pay enough and that you should focus on being a lawyer, engineer, doctor, etc. Or that your idea will never work, don't travel there it's too dangerous, you can't speak up to your boss they will fire you. Thus creating a fear and lack of faith in yourself and so you trade your dreams for the "safe" thing, the thing you "should" do. We take advice from the people that have no experience or frame of reference to the topic at hand and assume that our vision must be faulty.
Then you have the media. With thousands of messages being constantly downloaded daily into your subconscious brain like; what it means to be pretty, what sex should be like, how to please your man, the clothes you should be wearing, the things you need to have to be happy, what kind of man you should be with, the career you need and the money you need to earn to be happy. This is a never ending list of things, ideas and promises that will never come to pass but somehow stick with us altering how we act in the world and how we perceive ourselves and our faulty pursuit of happiness.
Slowly, one idea at a time we are being put in a box stamped with the seal of what a woman/sister/mother/friend/wife/Etc. "should" look like. As a wild horse is taught to exchange its wild ways to do tricks and being taken for a ride, so are we. We are being tamed when all the while the gate has been open we have just never known it was an option to leave; that freedom was even an option.
If you still have your doubts or can relate to what I am saying then you must watch this next video. I have re-watched this so many times and have even shed some tears because the truth of it is just so heart wrenching, real and raw. Once you have watched this you will never look at your life the same way again, you will, in fact, want to get to know the real you and to be free. Watch and see how you can start walking through that gate and back to you.
Becoming You Again
So you want a change, you want to become untamed and take back the control over your life and intentionally design your life moving forward. To be who the fuck you decide to be from this moment on? Good. Me too! So what now?
I have recently came across the work of holistic psychiatrist, Nicole Lepera, who has been helping millions of women heal themselves and create who they want to become. Her down to earth lessons on how to reframe your past and essentially reprogram yourself from the events, emotions and people who have conditioned you are creating real breakthroughs for people. Best of all, the advice seems within reach; real, actionable and logical making progress seem not only possible but probable. Watch the whole video, its worth it.
Based on the advice from these fierce women who are most importantly being, and showing up as fully themselves, here are my top takeaways for the next steps in creating and find you again.
Write down for any area of your life where you feel stuck what would be the most true and beautiful dream of what it could look like in a perfect world.
Write down ways in which you may have chosen things in your life based on what you "should" do instead of what you actually wanted to do, so that you are aware of the different areas in your life that may be influenced.
You are meant to be YOU and to be free!
Our subconscious runs a lot of our daily habits on our behalf to make your life easier and ease the burden of having to think about everything all the time, but this could cause issues if the habit that is on autopilot is one that is not serving us. Or if our default mode is to stress, worry or live in fear.
How develop your conscious muscle by:
Becoming aware of your daily habits by using the present moment and focusing your attention using hooks, like focusing on your breathing or your senses to bring you back to now instead of thinking of the past or future. When you are consciously present than you have choice, so you can choose a new behavior in the moment instead of reverting to your default mode.
Be consistent in your practice. It will take time to develop the skill
Set an alarm throughout your day as a reminder to be present instead of living in distraction.
Meditation can help build your conscious muscle by bringing yourself back to your breath, mantra or guide and into the present.
Discomfort is normal it just means that we are changing and it’s a sign that you are moving in a direction of difference.
Your daily choices, or lack there of, will have an impact on your life.
Once you build a foundation of consciousness you need to check in with the rest of your body and take a holistic approach to your being. Create total awareness to what is going on with you.
Pick one thing. Make one small daily promise to yourself everyday to earn creditability with yourself. As we change the habit from our subconscious it can create anxiety or overwhelm as you override your familiar script. So one small promise makes the process manageable and more likely to stick as you teach your subconscious its new default mode to create lasting change.
Reframe. If you can reframe your thoughts you can choose a new feeling or decision around your default thoughts or emotions from your past interrupting your familiar pattern. This does not need to negate your own experience, but it can open space for additional experience. You can feel your anger "and" understand how it could have happened to you unintentionally.
Journal. This helps you get the information out there and helps you to look at it objectively as an a observer.
You can create your self. The things you do every day determine your life and way of being. Create your future by beginning to make new choices now. Future self journaling can support you in working toward a future that is different and help you counter your autopilot. By doing one new thing differently each day and harnessing your imagination to trick your brain to support you in creating the new you through your journaling practice.
Nutrition and selfcare is a crucial pillar to your success. A holistic approach is a perquisite to creating the life you want.
Check out more videos created by Nicole Lepera for free on YouTube supporting you through your rebuilding journey step by step HERE
Get a free copy of the Future Self Journal by Nicole Lepara HERE
I am looking forward to digging in and getting to work on the excavation of the masterpiece that is, well... me. I can’t wait to meet her!
I would love to hear about your thoughts on this topic, the videos, your journey or any tips you might have that could support in the pursuit of freedom. Let me know down in the comments or send me an email, I would love to connect!
Design YOUR Life ~ Be Authentic. Be You. Be Sharp.
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Free Yourself, to Be Yourself ~ And Find out who She Really is!